Skits - Page 5

Gotta Go Wee!

Thanks very much to Serra Dee, who sent this skit to me!

Several people sit in a row, the one in front acting like he/she is driving a bus. The child in the back taps the person in front of them saying "I gotta go wee." The message is passed up and the driver says that they will have to wait until they reach a gas station. A few moments later the message is passed back up again. The driver again passes back the message, this time sounding a little irritated, this is also passed along. The child says "but I gotta go *wee*!" the driver 'pulls the bus over' and lets the child out in a field. The child then begins to dance around, sing, "Wee!!!"

Chief Thinking Bull

Thanks very much to Nancy Irwin, who e-mailed this skit to me!

One Scout is an Indian in a booth at an amusement park/fair. He has a sign that reads "Chief Thinking Bull - The best memory on Earth". Enter two Scouts, enjoying the amusements park, joking about what they see.

Scout 1: "Best memory on Earth, I bet he doesn't even know what he had for breakfast."
Scout 2: "Yeah, let's ask him."
Scout 1: "Hey Chief, I bet you can't even remember what you had for breakfast."
Chief: simply says "Eggs".

The scouts walk off laughing and mocking. Narrator announces that the scene resumes 10 years later. Scout 1 and 2 are back at the amusement park.

Scout 1: "Oh my gosh, look! It's that Indian we saw here 10 years ago."
Scout 2: "Let's go and say Hi."
Scout 1 to Indian: raising his hand, says "How"
Indian: "Scrambled"

The Candy Store

Thanks very much to Diana J., who e-mailed this skit to me!

Participants: Whole Group; Two people from audience
Supplies: a long stick

First, ask for two volunteers from the audience. Then have each of them hold the sides of the stick and have one of the group, the “Candy Store Clerk”, stand behind the stick, like a counter.

Then have each girl individually approach the candy counter and ask for a brand name of candy. To each request, the candy store clerk says he doesn’t have it. Here is an example:

Girl #1: Do you have any Snickers?
Clerk: Nope, sorry.
Girl #2: Do you have any M & Ms?
Clerk: No we don’t.

Finally, after all the girls have asked for something. They all approach as a group.

Girls: Well what do you have?
Clerk: (looks around) Two suckers on a stick?

Singing Telegram Skit

Thanks very much to Tammie, who e-mailed me this skit!

Singer: (singing) Happy Birthday to.......

Scout 1: HEY! What are you doing? What's going on here?

Singer: I'm delivering a singing telegram.

Scout 1: Who's it for?

Singer: If you'll wait a minute, you'll find out. (singing) Happy Birthday to......

Scout 2: What's all the noise? What's going on?

Scout 1: She says she's delivering a singing telegram to somebody, but she won't say who

Singer: Just be patient and you'll find out. Happy Birthday to.....

Scout 3: Who's having a birthday? I heard the singing, who is it?

Scout 1: She won't tell us, she says we have to wait.

Scout 3: It's not my birthday is it one of you?

Scouts 2 &1: Not me, not me!

Singer : If you'll just wait, you'd find out ..... Happy Birthday to....

Scout 4: I heard a lot of noise, what's going on?

Scout 1: It's a singing telegram for somebody.

Scout 2: And they are having a Birthday.

Scout 3: And she won't tell us who it is.

Scout 4: It's not mine is it yours?

Scouts #1,2,&3: no!

Singer : Alright, alright! I'll tell you (everyone gather's around and whisper, then turn around and say all together) HAPPY 86TH BIRTHDAY TO GIRL SCOUTING!!!!!!

(sing "Happy Birthday")

Hamming It Up

Thanks very much to Tammie, who e-mailed me this skit!

All girls are in a line, in order... they all have pig mask over their faces.

Pig 1: I sure had a high fever last night.
Pig 2: How High?
Pig 1: Two bales
Pig 3: Two bales? That's no way to take a temperature.
Pig 1: Of course it is, I have Hay Fever!

Pig 4: Hey! Why did the pig cross the road?
Pig 5: I give up. Why?
Pig 4: It was the chicken's day off!

Pig 6: What did my Uncle Porky sing when he joined the Navy?
Pig 7: I don't know, what?
Pig 6: (singing) Oinkers Away, my boys, Oinkers Away

Pig 8: What do you call a pig who crosses the road twice, but refuses to take a bath?
Pig 9: What?
Pig 8: A dirty double-crosser

Pig 10: (holding blank poster) Here is my painting of five hogs eating in a corn field!
Pig 11: I don't see any cornfield!
Pig 10: The pigs ate it all up!
Pig 12: I don't see any pigs either.
Pig 10: Of course not! Why would the pigs stick around when the corn is all gone?

ALL: And that ladies and gentlemen, is the end of our tale ( Girls all turn around to show the "pig tails" on their behinds...)

The Ugliest Thing In The World

Thanks very much to Kathy Smith, who e-mailed this skit to me!

One person is under a blanket or tarp. Another is selling tickets for admission to see the ugliest thing in the world (salesperson really hams it up). A line of people in turn go up, pay the admission, look under the blanket and scream and faint. Eventually the salesperson invites someone from the audience to come up and see. When the person looks under the blanket, the ugliest thing in the world screams and faints.


Thanks very much to an anonymous visitor, who sent this skit to me!

People needed: 1 doctor, 1 director, 1 person cooking beans (hereafter known as "Bean Person One"), 1 person that wants beans (hereafter "Bean Person Two")

To start off, the only person "on stage" is Bean Person One. She pretends to stir a big pot, saying, "Beans, beans, I love beans!" 

Bean Person Two walks onstage saying, "Hey, are those beans you're making?"

One: Yup.

Two: Can I have some?

One: Sure! (pantomimes plopping beans into a bowl, hands it over)

Two: (coughing, holding neck) These beans are... poison! (dies)

One: Oh, no! Is there a doctor in the house?

Doctor: (walks onstage) I'm a doctor. (Checks Two's pulse) She's... dead! (One and Doctor hug each other and cry dramatically)

Director walks onstage: Cut, cut, cut. That was horrible, too slow. Do it faster! Take two!

(They repeat the action in fast-motion, speaking fast and running)

Director: No, no, no, that's all wrong! Too fast, too fast. Do it slower! Take three!

(They repeat in super-slow motion.)

Director: This is too boring, I need... drama. Haven't you ever heard of William Shakespeare? Take four!

(All action is overly-dramatic)

One: Beans, beans, I loveth beans!

Two: (comes onstage looking all around) Beans, beans, wherefore art thou beans? (Sees One) Art thou making beans?

One: Yes.

Two: May I have some? I'm famished!

One: Surely you may!

Two: These beans... they're... poisoned! (Dies dramatically)

One: (falling on knees and yelling) JULIET!!!! Is there a physician in the castle?

Doctor: I am the royal physician... She's dead! (One and Doctor hug and cry loud and dramatically)

Director: Cut! That was horrible, nobody's gonna want to see that. We want to appeal to the teen crowd. Take 5!

One: Beans, beans, I love beans.

Two: Yo dude, are those beans?

One: Yeah man.

Two: Can I have some?

One: Sure.

Two: Yo man, they're poisoned! (Dies)

Doctor: (running onstage) He's dead. (Offstage, director makes police siren sounds)

One: Dude, we gotta move the body, quick! (One and Doctor pick up body and start to move it)

Director: Cut! We're trying to reach a wider audience. Give me.. cheerleaders, everyone loves cheerleaders. Take 6!

One: Give me a B! (audience: B!, etc.) Give me an E! Give me an A! Give me an N! Give me an S! What does that spell?... (twirls hair around finger) How should I know, I'm just a cheerleader!

Two: Like, are those beans?

One: Sure, you want some?

Two: Are they fat free?

One: I don't know.

Two: Okay! ... Like, they're poisoned! (dies)

One: Is there a doctor?

Doctor: Like, I'm a doctor! (Looks down) EWWWWWW!!!!!! She's getting blood on the carpet! What are we gonna do?

One: Wanna go shopping?

Doctor: Okay!

Director: Cut, cut, cut. I need action. Give me action! Take 7!

(One and Two sing the "Mission: Impossible" theme song and dance around doing cartwheels and rolls on the floor while hold their hands together like guns.)

Two: Are those beans?

One: These are secret agent beans.

Two: Can I have some?

One: What's the secret codeword?

Two: Give me the beans! (One hands over a bowl, Two smells it suspiciously.) Hey, man, these are poisoned. What are you trying to do? (One starts to run away, Two shoots her with an imaginary gun, One falls dead.)

Doctor: I heard a shot, what's...? (Two shoots her, Doctor falls dead.)

Director: (walks onstage) That was perfect, I love it! That's a wra... (Two shoots Director, who falls dead, and takes a huge bow.)

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