The Billboard Song
(could be sung to the tune of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic", among others)

As I was walking down the street one dark and dreary day,
I came upon a billboard and much to my dismay,
The sign was torn and tattered from the rain the night before.
The wind and rain had done its work and this is what I saw:

Smoke Coca-cola cigarettes, chew Wrigley's Spearment beer.
Kennel Ration dog food makes your wife's complexion clear.
Simonize your baby with a Hersey's candy bar.
And, Texaco's the beauty cream that's used by all the stars.

So, take your next vacation in a brand new Frigidare.
Play a Hammond organ in your Damart underwear.
Doctors say that babies should smoke 'til they are three.
And people over 65 should bathe in Lipton Tea.