God Bless My Underwear
(to the tune of "God Bless America")

Thanks very much to Nora McColl, who e-mailed me this song!

God bless my underwear, my only pair.

Stand beside them, and guide them,

Through the rips, through the holes, through the tears.

From the washer, to the dryer, to the clothesline in the air.

God bless my underwear, my only pair.

Thanks to Rebecca Jensen, who sent me this version of the song:

God bless my underwear, my only pair.

I have worn them, and torn them

On the seat of the old rocking chair.

From the washer, to the dryer,

To the old sewing machine.

God bless my underwear, my only pair.