Sam, Sam, The Lavatory Man

Sam, Sam, the lavatory man,

Chief inspector of the out-house can,

Toilet paper, toilet paper, paper towels,

Listen to the rhythm of the human bowels.

Deep, deep, under the ground,

See the little poopies all floating around,

Sam, Sam, the lavatory man,

Chief inspector of the out-house can.

Here's a second version of this song, sent to me by Krysta Hendrickson.

Sam, Sam, the toilet paper man,

Chief inspector of the outdoor can,

Toilet paper, toilet paper, paper towel,

Listen to the rumbles of the human bowel!

It goes deep down, under the ground,

Look at all the poop just a floatin' around!

Sam, Sam the toilet paper mannnnnnnnnnnn! (hold note for dramatic effect)

Scoopin' up the poop with his own bare hands!