Ain't Gonna Rain No More
(source: "The World's Best Funny Songs", Esther J. Nelson, 1988.)

Oh, it ain't gonna rain no more, no more,
It ain't gonna rain no more.
It rained last week and the week before,
It ain't gonna rain no more.

(Alternate Chorus:)

It ain't gonna rain no more, no more,
It ain't gonna rain no more,
How in the heck can I wash my neck
If it ain't gonna rain no more?
Mary had a little lamb, so goes the tale of yore.
She loved that little lamb so much, she passed the plate for more.

A bullfrog sat on a lily pad, looking up in the sky.
He fell right off that lily pad, and got water in his eye.

Oh, a peanut sat on a railroad track, it's heart was all a-flutter.
Along came the 5:05 - Oops! peanut butter.

A cow walked on the railroad track, the train was coming fast.
The train got off the railroad track to let the cow go past!

I woke up in the morning, I glanced upon the wall.
The roaches and the bedbugs were having a game of ball.

The score was six to nothing, the roaches were ahead.
A bedbug hit a home run and knocked me out of bed!

A doctor fell into a well and broke his collar bone.
We think that he should tend the sick and leave the well alone.

A farmer slipped on the old barn roof when rotten boards gave way,
And as as he fell, he shrugged and said, "It's time to hit the hay."

Humpty Dumpty fell right down and landed on his head,
So, all the horses and the men had scrambled eggs and bread.