Ain't Gonna Rain No More
(source: "The World's Best Funny Songs", Esther J. Nelson, 1988.)
- Chorus:
- Oh, it ain't gonna rain no more, no more,
- It ain't gonna
rain no more.
- It rained last week and the week before,
- It ain't gonna
rain no more.
(Alternate Chorus:)
- It ain't gonna rain no more, no more,
- It ain't gonna rain no more,
- How in the heck can I wash my neck
- If it ain't gonna rain no more?
- Mary had a little lamb, so goes the tale of yore.
- She loved that little lamb so much, she passed the plate
for more.
A bullfrog sat on a lily pad, looking up in the sky.
- He fell right off that lily pad, and got water in his
eye.
Oh, a peanut sat on a railroad track, it's heart was all
a-flutter.
- Along came the 5:05 - Oops! peanut butter.
A cow walked on the railroad track, the train was coming
fast.
- The train got off the railroad track to let the cow go
past!
I woke up in the morning, I glanced upon the wall.
- The roaches and the bedbugs were having a game of ball.
The score was six to nothing, the roaches were ahead.
- A bedbug hit a home run and knocked me out of bed!
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collar bone.
- We think that he should tend the sick and leave the well
alone.
A farmer slipped on the old barn roof when rotten boards
gave way,
- And as as he fell, he shrugged and said, "It's time
to hit the hay."
Humpty Dumpty fell right down and landed on his head,
- So, all the horses and the men had scrambled eggs and
bread.