Hippopotamus Song (Mud, Mud, Glorious Mud)
(Source: Flanders & Swann, 'At the drop of a hat', 1958; also found in "The World's Best Funny Songs", Esther J. Nelson, 1988.)

Thanks to Susie Cushion for providing the rest of the words to this song!

A bold hippopotamus was standing one day

On the banks of the cool Shalimar

He gazed at the bottom as he peacefully lay

By the light of the evening star

Away on the hilltop sat combing her hair

His fair hippopotami maid

The hippopotamus was no ignoramus

And sang her this sweet serenade

Chorus:

Mud, mud, glorious mud

Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood

So follow me follow, down to the hollow

And there let me wallow in glorious mud

The fair hippopotama he aimed to entice

From her seat on that hilltop above

As she hadn't got a ma to give her advice

Came tiptoeing down to her love

Like thunder the forest re-echoed the sound

Of the song that they sang when they met

His inamorata adjusted her garter

And lifted her voice in duet

Now more hippopotami began to convene

On the banks of that river so wide

I wonder now what am I to say of the scene

That ensued by the Shalimar side

They dived all at once with an ear-splitting sposh

Then rose to the surface again

A regular army of hippopotami

All singing this haunting refrain

Thanks to Kathryn Wells for this extra verse! It comes from Flanders & Swann 'At the drop of another hat' ..

The amorous hippopotamus whose love song we know

Is now married and father of ten,

He murmurs, "God rot 'em!" as he watches them grow,

And he longs to be single again!

He'll gambol no more on the banks of the Nile,

Which Naser is flooding next spring,

With hippopotamas in silken pyjamas

No more will he teach them to sing