Tails
(source: "Songs For Tomorrow", Girl Guides Association, 1984.)

If everybody had a tail and chose it's shape and size

Would you prefer a tufted one to swat at passing flies?

Or would you have a stumpy one to thump on wooden floors,

Or p'raps a warm and fluffy one to curl around your paws?

Chorus:

Tails, tails, tails you can swing them to and fro

You can wrap them round your middle

You can trail them in the snow

You can wave them when you're angry

You can wag them when you're glad

You can chase them round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round...

Until you drive the neighbours mad!

And would you wear it stripey, speckled, plain or maybe spotted?

And would you wear it curly, straight, or elegantly knotted?

And if it was prehensile, what enormous fun to be

The envy of the neighbours as you swing from tree to tree!

If tails were made detachable, how useful it would be

To change your tail for parties, or for playing by the sea

Or if you're going out at night, with safety first in mind

To wear a red fluorescent one to light up your behind!