Camp Granada
- Hello Mudda, hello Fadda,
- Here I am at Camp Granada.
- Camp is very entertaining,
- And they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining.
I went hiking with Joe Spivy;
- He developed poison ivy.
- You remember Leonard Skinner;
- He got ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner.
All the counsellors hate the waiters,
- And the lake has alligators,
- And the head coach wants no sissies,
- So he reads to us from something called "Ulysses".
Now I don't want this should scare ya,
- But my bunk mate has malaria.
- You remember Jeffrey Hardy,
- They're about to organize a searching party.
Take me home, oh Mudda, Fadda,
- Take me home, I hate Granada!
- Don't leave me in the forest where
- I might get eaten by a bear.
Take me home, I promise I will not make noise,
- Or mess the house with other boys.
- Oh, please don't make me stay,
- I've been here one whole day.
Dearest Father, darling Mother,
- How's my precious little brother?
- Let me come home if you miss me,
- I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me.
Wait a minute, it stopped hailing,
- Guys are swimming, gals are sailing.
- Playing baseball, gee that's betta,
- Mudda, Fadda, kindly disregard this letter!