Skits - Page 1


submitted by Jack Weinmann

Four or more people sneak up behind the speaker and set chairs down so that "the speaker can't see them." They then begin to go through the motions of casting a line and reeling it in. After a while the audience is watching what the group is doing and then the "speaker" looks over and asks, "What are you doing?"

"We're fishing!" is the reply of the fishermen, after which they go back to their motions and the speaker resumes talking. After a short time the speaker looks over and says - "But you can't fish here!"

"Why not?" asks another fisherman.

"Because there's no water here!" (speaker)

"Oh, well, they weren't biting anyway!" (fisherman)

The fishermen then turn their chairs so that they are lined up in a single line, facing in the same direction. They go through the motions of putting their gear away, and then, acting as if they are rowing a boat, slide their chairs backwards across the stage.

It worked well in a gymnasium and at the hall where we showed it to the leaders at roundtable. Perhaps the fishermen could sit on plastic garbage bags, or pieces of plastic sheet such as that which is used for ground cloths and simply scoot across the ground when it is time to "row" away.

Also, the speaker could be starting what looks like the introduction to another skit when the fishermen interrupt his narration.

The Medicrin

Submitted by Wayne McCullough

Presentation: The story calls for a narrator, a Hero, a Medicrin, a Loon, and assorted villagers. The narrator should have a loud, clear voice. There should be at least three villagers, but the more, the merrier (up to ten).

The narrator should read the story, and the characters should act out the parts. I personally feel no props should be used, and only the narrator should speak.

The narrator should read the story slowly and dramatically. Purely from the spoken point of view, the only humour in the entire story is the final punch-line. However, minor slapstick should be employed by the actors.

This is amusing mostly because of the punch-line. This story should not be evoked in excess.

The Medicrin

There once was a medieval village named Trinsic. This village was being terrorized by a vile monster, the Medicrin. Each night, the Medicrin would stalk down from the hills, and devour one of the villagers.

The terrified villagers called a meeting, and decided to pool their money together to hire the great hero Erik. <fanfare>

Erik came and listened to the complaints of the villagers. He consulted his Great Hero's Book of Vile Monsters, and learned that Medicrins love to eat Loons.

So Erik hunted high and low to find a loon. He found one, captured it, tied it up, and brought it back to the village. He then had the villagers dig a deep pit.

Erik threw the loon into the pit, hoping to capture the Medicrin, and slay it.

After calming the villagers, the next day, Erik again consulted his Great Hero's Book of Vile Monsters, and learned that Medicrins also love sugar.

So Erik gathered up all of the sugar in the village, and threw it into the pit. The loon, not having eaten in days, devoured all of the sugar in a single gulp. Erik was struck with panic, and ran to and fro trying to figure out what to do next, but night had fallen, and the Medicrin would be there soon, so Erik crossed his fingers, and hoped for the best.

The moral of the story:

"A loon full of sugar helps the Medicrin go down."

The Little Green Ball

Submitted by: Unknown!

This one is so old, but it appeals to the lads in my troop. First scout comes on and says 'Oh no I've lost it' He then starts to search around on the floor. Second scout comes in and asks what he is looking for. First scout replies that he has lost his little green ball. Both scouts continue searching the floor. Several more scouts come on and are told about the lost little green ball. even members of the audience can be persuaded to join in the search. After enough time has been dragged out, the first scout, sticks a finger up his nose and says "Don't worry I will have to make another one" YUK!!!!!

The Magic Doctor's Chair

Submitted by: Unknown!

Characters required: 1 doctor and four patients.
Props required: two chairs.

Scene begins with doctor sitting on one of the chairs.

First patient enters twitching their left arm.

DOCTOR: 'And what's wrong with you sir?'

Patient 1: 'As you can see doctor I have this terrible twitch'

DOCTOR: 'Just sit on my magic chair and you'll get better'

The patient sits on the chair and stops twitching, but the doctor's left arm starts twitching.

Patient 1: 'Oh thank you doctor. you cured me'

The patient leaves, the doctor still twitching calls for the next patient.

DOCTOR: ' Next '...... 'And what's wrong with you sir?'

This patient has the hiccups. The process of sitting in the chair is repeated. The doctor now has a twitch and the hiccups.

The third patient is called in, both his legs keep flicking in the air. The process is again repeated so that the doctor now has a twitching arm the hiccups and both legs flicking in the air.

The doctor now calls patient four. This patient looks quite normal, enters and sits in the magic chair.

DOCTOR: 'And what may I ask is wrong with you sir?'

Patient 4: 'I've got a terrible case of the trots doctor' The doctor runs off the stage holding his stomach.

Note: TROTS is English slang for can't stop going to the toilet

Three Scout Leaders

Submitted by: Unknown!

The scene is that three scout leaders are sitting around the campfire swapping yarns, after having had a little too much of the amber nectar to drink.

1st leader: These scouts today don't know they're born. I can remember the scout hut that we had. There was a hole in the roof, which let the water in when it were raining.

2nd leader: A roof with a hole in it, that were luxury. We had an old tarpaulin sheet slung over the rafters. Us older lads had to hang onto it during the meetings, case it blew away in the wind.

3rd leader: Rafters, now there's a luxury. When I was a scout our hut had no roof at all, and we kept out the rain with some old bits of sack, held up with twigs.

1st leader: We couldn't get twigs. We had to hold the roof up with our bare hands. Those were the days.

2nd leader: I remember when us lads used to go to camp. We loaded all our gear onto an old army truck and drove to the campsite singing songs.

3rd leader: We had no time for singing. We used to pull all our gear along on an old cart with wooden wheels. And the wheels used to get bogged down in the mud.

1st leader: A cart with wheels, now that's what I call a luxury. We just had an old cardboard box to put all our camping gear in, and when it rained all our gear would get soaking wet, and fall into the mud, but we were happy.

2nd leader: Yes, those were the days.

3rd leader: We had some nice tents though, big green six manners.

1st leader: Six manners , luxury, our tents were so small, you had to sleep sitting up.

2nd leader: We didn't have any tents at all in my troop. We used to curl up in a hole that we'd dug in the ground, but we were happy.

3rd leader: We couldn't afford a hole in the ground, we used to sleep in a puddle.

1st leader: Yes these youngsters today don't know they're born, but if you told them all these things they would never believed you.

The Submarine Captain

Submitted by: Unknown!

A line of submarine officers on a Japanese sub during WWII . Captain sights a ship in the periscope

CAPTAIN: 'Tanker bearing 259, Range 1 mile' He yells this to the first mate, who in turn tells second mate, down the line until finally the torpedo operator is told. The torpedo operator just shrugs his shoulders.

CAPTAIN: 'Load main tube # 1 and stand by to fire.' He yells this to the first mate, who in turn tells second mate, down the line until finally the torpedo operator is told.

TORPEDO OPERATOR: 'I don't know How.'

Next the captain gives the order to fire down the line, but the TORPEDO OPERATOR says "I don't know How..."

This message is returned up the line to the Captain who SCREAMS.

CAPTAIN: "Press the red button."

When this message finally gets down to the TORPEDO OPERATOR. he follows it, but it took too long so they miss the ship. (More message passing if you want.) Finally after about three ships (each time the TORPEDO OPERATOR doesn't remember how to fire.) The Captain feels disgraced and pulls out a knife and commits Sepuku (or incorrectly, Hari Keri) [i.e. suicide] Each officer in turn picks up the knife and follows the Captains example until at last the knife comes to the Torpedo Officer Who looks at the knife and says;

TORPEDO OPERATOR: 'I don't Know How..."

Is It Time Yet?

Submitted by: Unknown!

Line of 5-8 Scouts standing with left foot crossed over right, right arm crossed over left.

First Scout in line asks: "IS IT TIME YET?" - Second Scout asks third, etc down the line.

Last Scout says: "NO" Word is passed back to the first Scout, one Scout at a time.

After a lonnnnnnnng pause,

First Scout asks: "IS IT TIME YET?" It goes down the line as before.

Last Scout says: "NO" Again and the word is passed back.

Another long pause...............

First Scout asks again: "IS IT TIME YET?" etc and,

Last Scout says: "YES" the answer is passed back. Just after the first Scout gets the word, they all change to right foot over left and left arm over right.

Exit groaning!!

Raisin Skit

Submitted by: Unknown!

1st Scout comes out: Gets down on all fours, pretending to be a table. 2nd Scout comes out, looks at the table and declares;

2nd SCOUT: "Ahh, a fly, I think I'll pull it's wings off" Proceeds to pick it up, pluck the wings, put it back on the table, and walks off.

3rd Scout comes out, looks at the fly on the table and says;

3rd SCOUT: "Oh, a fly with no wings, I think I'll pull it's legs off", With great precision and animation, picks up the fly, removes it's legs, and puts it back and walks off.

4th Scout comes out, looks at the fly and announces;

4th SCOUT: "Say, a fly with no wings and no legs, I think I'll pull it's head off." Then proceeds as the other Scout before him.

Last Scout comes out looks at the table, then carefully inspects the object with out picking it up and says very quickly

LAST SCOUT: "A raisin !" and quickly picks it up and puts it in his mouth.

The Nutty Fisherman

Submitted by: Unknown!

Centre stage is a lad fishing from a billy can or bucket, he keeps pulling the rod as though he has something on the line. A passer by looks at him as he walks by and then walks on, after a few steps the passer by comes back to the lad.

Passer by: "What are you doing there then?"

Fisher: "I'm fishing, what does it look as though I'm doing?"

Passer by: "Fishing eh!, what are you fishing for?"

Fisher: "I'm fishing for suckers."

Passer by: "Have you caught any?"

Fisher: "Yes you're the third today!"

Bee Sting

Submitted by: Unknown!

1st scout: "OOOOOUCH , OOOOOH , OOOUCH."

2nd scout: "What's the matter with you?"

1st scout: "A bee's stung my thumb."

2nd scout: "Try putting some cream on it then."

1st scout: "But the bee will be miles away by this time."

Patience, Jackass, Patience!!

Submitted by: Unknown!

You can ham this up a bit, but here's the gist of it.

Two scouts enter (one on all fours if conditions allow) and move across stage as the skit proceeds. One is the mule and the other is the driver. A narrator stands just offstage.

Narrator: "In the heat of the Mojave Desert, the mule driver pushes his beast toward town. The first day. . ."

Mule: "Water, master, water!"

Driver: "Patience, Jackass, Patience!"

Narrator: "Still they drive on relentlessly. The second day. . ."

Mule: "Water, master, water!"

Driver: "Patience, Jackass, Patience!"

Narrator: "Without mercy, they push to their goal. The third day. . ."

Mule: "Water, master, water!"

Driver: "Patience, Jackass, Patience!"

Narrator: "Still far from town, they go on. The fifth day. . ."

Voice offstage: "What happened to the fourth day?"

Driver: "Patience, Jackass, Patience!"

Camp Coffee Sketch

Submitted by: Unknown!

You need a large dixie or billy in the centre of the stage and four scouts. In England we have nesting sets of aluminium cooking pots with a steel wire handle. They look like a small straight sided bucket or paint pot. These are called Billys or Billycans. We also have larger cast iron or steel cooking pots usually oval in shape. Most of these are army surplus and are known as Dixies.

1st scout: (Walks to billy carrying his mug. He dips his mug in and brings it up to his lips for a drink) " THIS CAMP COFFEE IS GETTING WORSE!"

2nd scout: (Walks to billy carrying his mug. He dips his mug in and brings it up to his lips for a drink.) " THIS CAMP TEA IS GETTING WORSE!"

3rd scout: (Walks to billy carrying his mug. He dips his mug in and brings it up to his lips for a drink.) " THIS CAMP CHOCOLATE IS GETTING WORSE!"

4th scout: (Walks to billy, dips his hands in and takes out a pair of wet socks. As he wrings them out he says.) "I THOUGHT THAT WOULD GET THEM CLEAN!"

The Sleep Walker

Submitted by: Unknown!

You will need three scouts or male scout leaders and one girl scout or lady leader. You can do this with adults or youngsters, but do not mix adults and youngsters.

The scene is that three boys are chatting in a group when from the side of the stage, a young lady walks on, hands in front of her, sleep walking. She walks up to the first boy, takes off his tie and walks off taking his tie with her.

1st boy: " Hey, she's pinched my tie." (another word for Pinched is stole or took)

2nd boy: " It's dangerous to wake sleep walkers, don't worry she'll bring it back when she wakes up."

The girl walks back and takes the second boys jacket, she walks off carrying it with her.

2nd boy: "Hey she's pinched my jacket."

3rd boy: "It's dangerous to wake sleep walkers, don't worry she'll bring it back, when she wakes up."

The girl walks back still sleep walking, grabs the 3rd boy by the arm and walks off with him.

3rd boy: "It's dangerous to wake sleep walkers, but don't worry she'll bring me back when she wakes up."

The Lighthouse

Submitted by: Unknown!

cast: 1 narrator 3-6 Scouts for the lighthouse walls 3-6 leaders, counsellors, kitchen staff, etc., number to equal the Scouts and will be 'recruited' during the skit 1 flashlight, or 2 if using 5-6 Scouts.

Scouts stand in a circle, facing out, feet spread 2' - 3' apart but touching feet of Scouts on each side. The flashlight is held at eye level and is passed around the circle. Scouts stand tall and hold the beacon's beam steady.

Narrator: "Many years ago the people of a seaside village built a lighthouse to warn approaching ships of a dangerous shoal near their harbour. It's beacon could be seen for miles, even in fog and storms. For many decades, the lighthouse stood firm and give safe passage to all who sailed by the village. But as the years went by, the villagers grew old and so did the lighthouse. The villagers could no longer make repairs, the ocean's waves wore away the foundation, the lighthouse started to sag and failed at its duty." The Scouts now stoop, heads lean to the side and bend their knees slightly; the light 'travels' a zigzag path around.

Narrator: "When the schooners and square riggers started to go aground on the shoals, the old villagers knew they had to call in experienced people to help with their problem. People who were pillars in their own communities and who were solid as a rock."

Recruit your favourite 'I'm gonna get you now' people and instruct them to go down on their hands an knees and into the walls. Leaders are facing in with their derrieres out, and are straddled by the Scouts who again stand tall and give a steady light.

Narrator: "Now with these new rocks placed into the foundation, the lighthouse once again shines a bright beacon and stands firm in the stormy surf to withstand the pounding of the waves."

Scouts drop the flashlight and then hand paddle the leaders.

Sarge and the Private

Submitted by: Unknown!

Sarge and private walking.

Private: "I want to rest!"

Sarge: "No! we have to finish this hike keep going!"

Private: "But my feet hurt" etc. (Whining.) Here you can be creative, add a few more excuses...

Sarge: "Absolutely NOT!!!"

Private: "Ill cry..."

Sarge: "Go ahead!"

Private: "WaaaaaaHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!" Here Sarge gives in and they rest. Next the private wants to stop and ' take a wee' (you can always use the "Weeee!" when the Sarge finally gives in after the same Rigmarole. and next a drink, and finally food. But this is only a day hike so there is no food. After more tears, the Sarge finds a worm and the private will only eat it (on the threat of more tears) if the Sarge eats half. Of course when he finally does, the private starts bawling again and screams.

Private: "You ate my half!"

Bucket Head!

Submitted by: James Brezina

The skit starts out with a couple of campers (or scouts in your case) asking for some volunteers from the audience (parents will do JUST fine...evil grin).

The volunteers are then removed from the room by one of the scouts in charge of the 'Game Show' (thank you Vanna...)

After the volunteers have been removed, the 'Game' is set up. Two tables (the folding type work VERY well) are covered with sleeping bags and balls of various descriptions are placed under buckets on these tables, the catch is that in between the two tables a person (another scout perhaps) is kneeling with his head under a bucket to resemble the other buckets (of course this is well hidden with sleeping bags, or sheets or what ever you have handy) The tables are then moved close together to further hide the fact that there is anyone under the table, and don't forget to cover the front of the table so that the participant, or victim as it were, cannot see under the tables.

Bring in the first contestant...

It is then that the 'Game' is described to the contestant. He/she is to make his/her way down the line of buckets picking up each bucket and naming the ball under the bucket. Give some time record to be beaten. Then as they make their way down the line and eventually pick up the bucket off of the table under which the scout is hiding, the scout should yell/scream etc. to further the shock value.

Bring in the next contestant...etc

This skit is generally really effective and is good for a few laughs if nothing else.

[Next: Skits Page 2]

Return to Main Songbook Menu

Becky's Guiding Resource Centre Main Menu